RAD: Communication Problems

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There are two types of communication. The physical (i.e. texting, facebook chatting etc) and then there’s emotional kind (expressing your feelings.”

First I want to say, if you are friends with someone and develop feelings for them, but you barely hear from that person, they don’t text you or call you or Facebook you and you haven’t had a real conversation with them (or maybe you have but hasn’t happened in a while) then you probably shouldn’t be with that person just yet. If they are quiet now, chances are you’ll feel like you’re dating yourself once you get in a relationship. You probably wont hear much from them and you’ll wonder why you’re with them. That may not be the case for everyone, but communication as friends is very important. A conversationalist with a sense of humor is the best thing you can find cough….

It is important to be with someone who you can easily talk to about anything and know they will actually listen and respond in a respectful manner.

I’ve been in all types of relationships where if I accidentally offend her, she shuts down. I ask her what’s wrong, she says nothing and ignores me while she’s away. That kind of attitude tells me she’s not ready to open up, that she’s not the type to discuss her feelings. That will lead to major communication problems later on.

Some guys get accused of being “girly,” in the sense that he likes to talk his problems out, likes to calmly fix any relationship issues. That is not being feminine at all, that is simply being mature. It’s like a math problem. In school you are taught how to solve an equation, you stick with it until you find the answer no matter how long it takes, if you skip it you fail. Relationship problems are similar in that if you skip it, the relationship may fail. It is best to figure out a way to solve the problem no matter how long it takes.

The mistake many couples make in trying to come to an agreement is how they try to solve the problem. Many people are aggressive communicators, they like to yell, scream, toss insults around, don’t listen, become defensive quickly or curse at each other. That’s no way to live. As corny as some people think TV shows like Full House, Step by Step etc were, they taught me lessons on how to talk your problems out and not storm out of the room cursing like a drunken fool. The worse thing you can do is argue. Arguments never solve anything.

As a wise man once said a debate is an exchange of knowledge, an argument is an exchange of ignorance and a relationship discussion is an exchange of feelings. (Ok I made that up)

In order to build a healthy trustworthy relationship. One of the reason people cheat is because they don’t want to open up. I’m not saying you should break up with the person right away. Again talk to them about it, tell them you want them to open up more and communicate more.

I’ve noticed, females in particular would rather express their emotions on Facebook to the world then actually talk to their boyfriend directly. That is also unhealthy for the relationship and it’s airing your dirty laundry to the world.

Communication is such a broad subject. It’s almost impossible to condense it. I tried here to touch as many points of it, but I suggest researching Communicators and the psychological problems that are behind it.

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